Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Trump: Proud of You.

President Donald J Trump, I am, as a foreigner not wanting to immigrate to your country, proud of you. You have brought attention to your role as President like no president before you. You were accused of a thin skin, how untrue. Today I spent half an hour looking through your Twitter posts and on the UN speech tweet you had 12,500 replies and comments. I believe if you read them all you will notice 99% were not complimentary of you, how can you have a thin skin. Anyone else subjected to that sort of abuse would have closed their Twitter account but not someone with thick skin like you. Its like rhino hide, much like of the one your sons killed in Africa.

Your performance at the UN General Assembly was so misunderstood. These so called world leaders do not appreciate Trumpian humor, how would they know that you were being satirical in saying no President has achieved as much as you have. How would they remember that you were making a jibe at your own tweet of 2009 that Mr. Obama was the laughing stock of the world. That's it! They did not laugh at you, they laughed at the subtle reference you made to that episode of 2009. Bravo you are not only intelligent but your humor is also so subtle that the Fake News media does not follow it.

While all this was going on Bill Cosby, the once famous comedian, was sentenced for sexually assaulting a woman, how silly of the media to refer to you and the 19 or so women who accuse you of sexual assaults. There is no parallel; you are a politician Cosby was a comedian, you are the leader of the world, after all even Cosby cannot make a 189 world leaders laugh at his jokes. Cosby should have hired your ex lawyer Cohen and paid them off, after all if you pay a woman you molest its then consensual sex. The only one who can object to it is your wife and she won't say a word.

We are also proud of the way you handle pressure of the media. Yes call it call fake then its for them to prove things, and even if they do remember its a President's word against that off a low life reporter. When things are on fire that seem to suggest you lit the fire, you go along and light another fire, or douse petrol on a 'trusted' person and let him burn to distract the people. Your recent comment to watch out for China interfering in the mid term elections is such a lovely side pass to deflect from your Russian friends. This is what makes you a great President, no one, and I mean no one, can pin anything on you because as President you define reality and therefore you define the truth.

As we enter into a trade war you have shown resolve that no other President could show. Never before has a President discarded good advice to pursue what you believe is right, considering soon you will have farmers suffering and businesses who survive on exports wondering what happened. But then understanding a concept of Making America Great Again is not something that people who went to fancy universities can understand.

It is good that you had your press guys to send you the names of all the world leaders who laughed at you at the UNGA session. You are right they are not our allies and if it means all 189 countries laughed at you then remember all of America is behind you when you severe diplomatic ties with of them. May we suggest you ask the UN to move their head quarters from US soil. Its time they understand you cannot laugh on the US President and still get to be in New York.




Saturday, September 22, 2018

India's Terrorism card.


At the time of this writing India had announced it had cancelled the forthcoming meeting between Indian and Pakistani foreign ministers since the 'brutal killings by terrorist attack' by elements 'supported by Pakistan.' The only incident that happened was the death of a policeman in Indian Held Kashmir and considering the provocations by both sides across their border, such an incident can hardly be qualified as significant enough to call for such a cancellation. It would seem with elections around the corner in India, any normalization of relations with Pakistan may not play to the base that supports the current government.

In the back drop of the recent US-India meetings in Delhi, such a posture seems to suggest a building up of pressure on Pakistan concerning the matter of terrorism and the alleged support of such groups by Islamabad. The fact that in the past some terrorist groups have had sympathy and perhaps support from Pakistan cannot be denied. However, the narrative that is sold is that India is an innocent party subjected to such attacks. Ignoring India's actions within its side of the border of Kashmir, India's track record of itself being a supporter of terrorism cannot simply be washed down the Ganges.

A top official of the Pakistan Taliban, who in April 2017 surrendered, in extensive public interviews revealed some interesting information. Ihsanullah, was the spokesperson of the Pakistan Taliban and he revealed that the Indian intelligence agency RAW, and NDS, the Afghan intelligence agency, were together providing finance, weapons and logistic support to the Pakistan Taliban to carry out attacks within Pakistan. He even revealed that RAW would assist in 'the selection' of targets and provide the intelligence on such targets.

Even if we put aside the matter of the alleged Indian spy caught in Pakistani Balouchistan, and his confession that he was involved in planning the activities against the Pakistan government, there is no denying that Indian agents and RAW have been actively trying to destabilize the situation in Baluchistan. Brahumdagh Bugti, as he is known, from the well known Bugti tribe of Balochistan has sought protection from India and has been conducting activities of subversion in Pakistan with the knowledge and support of RAW. Dr Jumma Marri, a well known Baloch activist who lives in self imposed exile in Moscow and is an activist for greater Baloch autonomy has been categorical that India has been providing funding and weapons to the small group of Baloch separatists.

 One must must admit that both India and Pakistan have elements within their society and even government who have an interest in causing chaos in each others societies. There will always be a hardline element on both sides of the fence, and we have the choice to either buy into the rhetoric of these hardliners or to embrace the will of the majority of the people who want peace in South Asia. Pakistan, through its own actions over the recent past, has borne the brunt of being labelled a supporter of terrorism, and somehow its own narrative, which is also true, that it has been the victim of more terrorist attacks than any nation has somehow not got out to the people.

What was shocking about the Ishanullah admission was that he stated emphatically that his group carried out the Army Public school attack in Pakistan, where 250 children were slaughtered, but went on to state that Indian RAW agents picked the soft target and provided funding and support for the attack. In terms of terrorist attacks such an event is no less devastating as the Mumbai bomb attacks or the bombings in Kabul. Why should these terrorists and their backers, be they Indian or whoever, also be pointed out and labeled as terrorists?

Let us be frank the terrorists are in different shapes, sizes and political and religious colors, and till we do not, collectively, admit that they need to be confronted and the people who support them we are simply rewriting the narrative to suit our own political, religious or social agendas. Just as I would argue that people who go into schools and malls in the United States and kill people should not be called shooters but should be called terrorists we are merely softening the blow to our already dead conscious.

This is a changed world; the dynamics of violence are different, the landscape on which terrorists operate is oblivious of the social distinctions between combatants and civilians, between children and adults, between Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus or who ever.  One cannot simply assume that India, cradled in Ghandi's nonviolence cannot also have elements who will carry out or support terrorist acts! Our conception of Buddhists always was that they are non violent till the Royhinga crisis came upon us and the brutality of men in saffron robes was no less than that of a Taleban attacking the school, or the terrorists who attacked Mumbai or the man who stepped into a school in America and shot up kids.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

To Kneel or Not to Kneel?



Social Media and America is ablaze with the controversy about Colin Kaepernick, a NFL player, kneeling during the playing of the American national anthem. The emotion this has evoked got President Donald Trump involved, calling players who kneel, which he considered a disrespect to the anthem, 'sons of bitches'. If Kaepernick used a sports event as a political platform to protest police brutality, Mr Trump elevated it into a hysterical litmus test of whether you are a patriot or a traitor.

Now that Nike having endorsed Kaepernick, who is shunned by all NFL teams, the debate enters the broader realm of corporate conscious. The result is that it divides people just as much as the act of kneeling did, with some jingoistic burning of Nike shoes. Sadly we forget that Kaepernick first protested 21 months back by simply sitting on the bench during the national anthem. Then after consulting some war veterans he felt kneeling while showing respect would still highlight his protest. I suspect no one would have made a big deal about it had Mr Trump not jumped in with his remarks.

Tim Tebow, another famous NFL player used to also kneel, in prayer we may add, while having various verses from the Bible written on his attire and it was known he was a devout Christian and often spoke against abortion. While he did not kneel during the anthem he always did so after the anthem and it coined a term called 'tebowing'. Kaepernick, much like Tebow sees kneeling as a respectful gesture and why should it not be.

Kneeling in most cultures and history is seen as a sign of submission and respect. You kneel in front of the King/Queen, you kneel when you pray, you kneel when you ask a woman for her hand in marriage, so when did kneeling suddenly become a disrespectful act? I guess since Donald Trump, a man who hardly reads and has no sense of history, declared it disrespectful. His base of supporters, perhaps equally devoid of a sense of history equate kneeling to the national anthem as being disrespectful. Men and women have knelt before flags for ages, its an act of deep respect and submission to what the flag stands for, so why is kneeling during the national anthem suddenly so offensive.




I have watched a number of NFL games and when people are quick to criticize Colin Kaepernick as being disrespectful they should look in the stands. People are buying pop corn, drinks, walking around, talking to each other and some even sitting on their seats during the playing of the national anthem! Is that not disrespectful?  How many of these people burning their Nike shoes sit in their homes talking, eating and drinking during the national anthem. So let us not become so sanctimonious all of a sudden and condemn Kaepernick, or others, for an act which is misunderstood in the first place.

This false sense of patriotism, or the lack of it, is being injected into the American political fabric for the wrong reasons and for motives that have nothing to do with disrespect. If one cannot understand that and still want to burn their Nikes or Ford trucks or whatever then you have simply become the tool of an ignorant mass of people who are being worked up on what is perhaps the most humbling and submitting act, kneeling during your National Anthem, in front of your flag and in front of God.




Monday, September 10, 2018

The Trump Daily Diary Uncovered.

4.AM Read tweets on Obama's (the failed Obama care President) speech.

4.01 AM My tweet showing my success in 15 months more than his in 8 years.

4.02 AM Block 231 Tweeters who are traitors to America and tweeted response to me.

4.10 AM Back to sleep.

6.15 AM Wake up and do 5 minutes Trumps Make Trump Gorgeous Again work out.

6.30 AM Breakfast and watch Fox News. I love those guys, so patriotic. (Note to self to tell Sean Hannity not to invite treasonous traitors to the show. Its very very very bad for this image.

6.55 AM Swtich channel to see CNN (what the Fake Media is saying). The negative Don Lemon is going on about Obama speech. Fake losers . (Note to self. Must get public speaking coach).

7.15 AM Call Pence. "Pence my man, why are you talking of a lie detector test? I never accused you? Is there something you are guilty off?"
Pence replies, "Mr. President I just want to counter the fake news planting stories that I might be deep throat."
 "Come on Pence you cannot be deep throat, well not like Stormy.' I laugh and close the phone.

7.45 AM I am ready to start my day, Oval Office calls to say Angela Merkle wants to talk to me.
"Tell the immigrant loving weak leader of Germany that I am busy today making America Great Again, we can speak tomorrow before my round of golf."

8.00 AM Rudi, the mayor, calls on my cell.
"Mr. President you have to tell Sessions to investigate the story in the New York Times."
"Rudi I am going to do better I will order him to close it down."
"Mr President we cannot do that, this is America, we have a constitution that protects the press.'
"See Rudi this is why we are weak and Russia is strong. If Putin does not like a newspaper he closes it and we live in the dark ages with a constitution over 200 years old."
"Mr. President its the law of the land."
"I am President I can change the law, tell Lindsey Graham to have his guys in Congress draft a new Constitution. My dear friend Kim sent me the North Korean Constitution, its pretty good."
"OK will collect and study it."

9-11 AM Loads of photo moments with all sorts of people I don't know, loads of shaking hands and smiling. Not sure why the plaid shirt guy has turned up here again. Must speak to security to only allow enthusiastic supporter to the White House.

11.15 AM Called my friend Putin on the secure line he set up for me.
"Hello my friend. Sorry to hear about the fake news on the protestors in Moscow. I am sure they never covered the huge crowd in Red Square cheering for you and me."
"Don't worry Donald we in Russia have the means to deal with fake news. You should learn from us."
"I am, I am, in fact I am reading the leaflet you gave me on Presidential Control in Russia. Its very very very informative."
"Da Da, well good talking to you Donald I need to now prepare for a photo shoot while wrestling a Ukrainian bear."
I put the phone down and tell Kelly Ann Conway, "Kellyann now that is a man I admire."

3. PM After lunch (Hot Dogs and Burgers, Made in America of course) I head out to the golf course. Watch more of Fox News, these guys are such loyal subjects.

7 PM Return to White House.

9PM to 2 AM After watching more of Fox and Friends, a few calls to my man Sean Hannity, I sort the world out with my Tweets, 23 three in 4 hours that is enough for the world to know I am the toughest President on Twitter and with 54 million followers on Twitter I should get a royalty from Twitter. (Note to self, must ask Lawyer to send request for sweat equity in company.)




Saturday, September 8, 2018

Imran stay the course.


When you were elected I published here an open letter to you, and celebrated the fresh breath of air you could bring to Pakistan politics. I also mentioned, as a friend, I would criticize you when you, in my opinion, are not on course. The Atif Mian removal from the Economic Advisory Council is the first grave mistake being made. Bowing to pressure from the ultra religious groups you have agreed to remove him because he is an Ahmadi. First of all he is a Pakistani and a loyal Pakistani, secondly I was concerned you have not talked of protection of minorities and here is an example where you have abandoned the most competent person on the team just because some Mullahs think Pakistan is only for their brand of Islam. Next they will want the Christians to be removed from government then the Hindus and then the Shia, and then the many different branches of Sunni till they can stamp their narrow narrative on the country.

Imran let me give you the example of cricket. Would you have removed Musthaq Ahmed, or Wasim Akram or Javaid Miandad from the team just because someone said none of them had a bread, or were not as good a muslim as they thought. Should you do that it would be considered a gutless surrender of the team and tantamount to treason to the team. This is not different than the case of Atif Mian, he is not being asked to give advice of Islamic Affairs, he is asked to help with the economy. What shade of faith or any faith the man has is not relevant. I would expect you to reverse this decision and show us that you can make brace decisions. If not remember you give these mullahs an inch they will take the whole minaret.

Another matter that is a bit strange. The hike of the gas tariff, perhaps needed, should have not been done on the recommendation of the civil administration when you have announced an economic advisory council it should have had the input from them. Gas is a major input into the economic modeling for the country and such a decision should have waited for the EAC, otherwise why have such an assembly of talent, not minus Atif Mian?

One of the things you should carefully manage is the civil service of the country. They have a massive vested interest in the status quo they have lived off for years. They can paralyze your government and get it caught up in red tape till infinity. I would be careful of their advice and meanwhile take steps to over haul this monster that can undermine any development effort. They were compliant if not gutless bystanders to the looting of the country and it is something that should not be forgotten.

This is a time to be resolute and if you want to imbibe the vision of Jinnah then you cannot cherry pick what you like and what you do not. This appeasement of the mullahs is not a good sign. We who live abroad as overseas Pakistanis do so not only because of the economic opportunities but also because many of us could not accept the intolerance of the Zia ul Haq era. You have to speak for all Pakistanis including the minorities and so long as they are dedicated to a strong Pakistan then embrace them. Do not forget that Jinnah's first foreign minister was an Ahmadi, and two of the greatest judges of the Supreme Court were a Christian and a Hindu; Justice Cornelius and Judge Dorab Patel.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Trump In a Banana Republic.


Ladies and Gentlemen,

Something has gone terribly wrong. Donald J Trump got elected in the wrong country. Come on this is serious. He was supposed to head up some banana republic and his nomination papers got all messed up and he ended up winning the GOP ticket and even the election. Biggest proof of this being a mistake is that HE WAS NOT EVEN A REPUBLICAN. While the GOP stalwarts were busy trying to figure out what happened Mr Trump had taken the oath of office; to the largest crowd ever in a banana republic.

The whole mystery of why there has been such a large turnover of White House officials and his cabinet is easy to explain. Every staffer or cabinet member who has gone up to President Trump and reminded him that he is not the elected President of a banana republic but is in the US and he should stop watching documentaries of Idi Amin, the reaction is the person is fired next morning. Sadly Mr Trump does not read otherwise I would recommend he read The Autumn of the Patriarch because much like the dictators around whom this amazing novel is centered, Mr Trump does believe that his word is a command.

Much like dictators he does not tolerate dissent or even disagreement, and one can imagine to survive around him one needs to see a spine surgeon and have ones spine removed. Directing the state apparatus to punish anyone the dictator does not agree with was common and now one wonders if telling the Justice Department who to go after and also lambasting Jeff Sessions for indicting two GOP Congressmen just fits into the banana republic that Mr Trump wants.

Banana republics stand out by the fact that the press is either muzzled or totally absent. Mr Trump has taken the hammer on the press and anyone, and we mean anyone, who disagrees within him in the public media is 'fake news'. The message is not that he wants you to believe they are fake news, in his banana republic type of thinking he simply wants them to disappear. For him Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends are the only true press and rest are garbage and when a dictator says they are garbage then they must be closed down.

However, here is the problem, Mr Trump has the desires of banana republic leader and yet has also discovered that the was elected in the wrong country. After all in the country of his good friend Putin, now that is a man with substance, you disagree with him and you pay a price. Better still his even closer friend in North Korea, where you cannot even think to disagree, and when you have thoughts censored you will obviously never have a problem with free speech and the media.

Leaders of banana republics love their parades, the military ones, it gives them a chance to tell the fortunate masses that not only do they have a great leader at the helm but one who controls a vast arsenal of planes, tanks, and troops. It is no surprise that Mr Trump has been wanting his military parade and had the US  been a true banana republic then how dare the mayor of Washington stand in his way?

So what is Donald J Trump going to do? Well if you can't go to the mountain you have to find a way to bring the mountain to you. Well there is this little thing called the Constitution of USA, so that can be fixed by loading the Supreme Court with like minded guys, after all if it needs to be done that way why not. Then there is the problem of the Congress. This is seemingly a harder task but then if Mr Trump can scare them into believing his base is so large that it can even oust them then presto he can have them tow the line. Look at Lindsey Graham who in 2015 called Mr Trump a racist and three years later proudly says he never heard even a hint of racism from Donald J Trump. Come on Lindsey we need to know which is a true statement?


The big question is when will people see through the fact that they got the wrong President for the right country, or to put it differently the right President for the wrong country. Perhaps this is what Trump wants us to believe, that his image of USA and how it should be run is the correct one and if 300 million odd people got it wrong well they will just have to fix their thinking. Meanwhile reports are filtering out that Mr. Trump is designing a President's uniform and its most likely going to be orange and some other bright colors. Of course how can the head of a banana republic have a uniform and no medals, after all he dodged military service, (unless there is a medal for that). He cannot ask Putin to give him a medal or a bunch of them; that would play into the collusion theory. He could ask his friend Kim in North Korea to toss over a few (after all his jacket is over loaded).

I do humbly ask the US Congress to pass special legislation honoring Donald J Trump with a whole host of special medals: Medal of Dishonor, Medal for Lying in the face of the fake news, Medal for Grabbing (we will not say where), Medal for Non Cooperation in International Affairs, The Order of the Great Wall, The Congressional Medal for Payoffs, Medal for Many Many Many good things, Medal for the most disorganized White House, Medal for Racial Inequality, Medal for Excellence in Golf during a crisis, The Order of Distinction in Starting a Word Trade War, and finally The Medal for the most Un-Invited President.

My American friends be thankful for the fact that you have been given, even by error, President Donald J Trump, a true President for a banana republic and now it is your duty to make your great nation into the banana republic that Mr Trump was destined to rule over. Long Live the President (King), and may his humble subjects know their place in his presence.