It is coming onto almost two months since my beloved sister Farida Sher passed away after a battle with cancer. It was not sudden and knowing the inevitable was around the corner did not deter Farida (who we all called Apa) from accepting the outcome with grace, poise and a huge dose of courage. In our regular phone calls, even though her voice became progressively feeble, her courage and sense of humor never diminished. A couple of weeks before her passing she was recalling the humorous banter she and I always engaged.
Farida was more than just a lovable sister. She was a founder member of the Womens Action Forum (WAF) in Pakistan. He passion to highlight issues of women's rights was not just symbolism but an earnest desire to have more equitable laws and treatment of women. She often talked of teaching skills to woman who had been abandoned in the urban centers after they and their families had moved to the larger cities from rural Pakistan. As a founding member of Simorgh, a brilliant organization bringing awareness to the core issues of women's rights, violence against women and women's education, she worked with some amazing individuals. The landscape of both Simorgh and WAF reads as a who's who of Pakistan women rights stalwarts. Nasrene Shah, Kauser Shaikh, Samina Bano Rehman, Ajana Raza, Marium Abrar, Hina Azfar, Naheed Aziz. Neelam Hussain and many more all brought together a pool of wisdom and intellect which speaks for itself.
One of my earliest memories was when Apa was doing her Masters in Social Work and was doing an exhaustive paper on drug addiction in Pakistan. I recall driving her to unmentionable places in Lahore and sitting through her interviews. Her emphasis was to understand the causes of the addiction rather than to condemn it. These were her early steps into social activism which grew to be a part of the street protests against General Zia's draconian laws which pushed back the rights of womens like never before.
Farida Apa was an avid reader and instilled in me the love of books from a very early age. I owe my love of reading to my mother and her, because between them I was often bombarded with questions about the books I was reading. This was a passion she passed on to her son Shakir, a dynamic businessman who carries the tell tale signs of his upbringing under the nurturing eyes of his mother. Sadly Farida, unlike our mother, did not write her story or any books, even though she was a great storyteller. I know if she had got around to it she would have spun quite a tale for us all to read. An avid self made gardner her never tired of telling you of all the various flowers and herbs she was growing. At times when I called her it seemed she was more interested in my experiment to grow avocados in Dubai than she was in me.
But then this was what you got with Farida Apa, an undultered dose of honesty, humor and frankness. While her passing has left a void in our hearts, I do know that the fond memories of her, and the many stories we can relive of her will keep her alive in our hearts. Apa go in peace and may you blossom like your flowers in the Hereafter.
