Trump In a Banana Republic.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Something has gone terribly wrong. Donald J Trump got elected in the wrong country. Come on this is serious. He was supposed to head up some banana republic and his nomination papers got all messed up and he ended up winning the GOP ticket and even the election. Biggest proof of this being a mistake is that HE WAS NOT EVEN A REPUBLICAN. While the GOP stalwarts were busy trying to figure out what happened Mr Trump had taken the oath of office; to the largest crowd ever in a banana republic.

The whole mystery of why there has been such a large turnover of White House officials and his cabinet is easy to explain. Every staffer or cabinet member who has gone up to President Trump and reminded him that he is not the elected President of a banana republic but is in the US and he should stop watching documentaries of Idi Amin, the reaction is the person is fired next morning. Sadly Mr Trump does not read otherwise I would recommend he read The Autumn of the Patriarch because much like the dictators around whom this amazing novel is centered, Mr Trump does believe that his word is a command.

Much like dictators he does not tolerate dissent or even disagreement, and one can imagine to survive around him one needs to see a spine surgeon and have ones spine removed. Directing the state apparatus to punish anyone the dictator does not agree with was common and now one wonders if telling the Justice Department who to go after and also lambasting Jeff Sessions for indicting two GOP Congressmen just fits into the banana republic that Mr Trump wants.

Banana republics stand out by the fact that the press is either muzzled or totally absent. Mr Trump has taken the hammer on the press and anyone, and we mean anyone, who disagrees within him in the public media is 'fake news'. The message is not that he wants you to believe they are fake news, in his banana republic type of thinking he simply wants them to disappear. For him Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends are the only true press and rest are garbage and when a dictator says they are garbage then they must be closed down.

However, here is the problem, Mr Trump has the desires of banana republic leader and yet has also discovered that the was elected in the wrong country. After all in the country of his good friend Putin, now that is a man with substance, you disagree with him and you pay a price. Better still his even closer friend in North Korea, where you cannot even think to disagree, and when you have thoughts censored you will obviously never have a problem with free speech and the media.

Leaders of banana republics love their parades, the military ones, it gives them a chance to tell the fortunate masses that not only do they have a great leader at the helm but one who controls a vast arsenal of planes, tanks, and troops. It is no surprise that Mr Trump has been wanting his military parade and had the US  been a true banana republic then how dare the mayor of Washington stand in his way?

So what is Donald J Trump going to do? Well if you can't go to the mountain you have to find a way to bring the mountain to you. Well there is this little thing called the Constitution of USA, so that can be fixed by loading the Supreme Court with like minded guys, after all if it needs to be done that way why not. Then there is the problem of the Congress. This is seemingly a harder task but then if Mr Trump can scare them into believing his base is so large that it can even oust them then presto he can have them tow the line. Look at Lindsey Graham who in 2015 called Mr Trump a racist and three years later proudly says he never heard even a hint of racism from Donald J Trump. Come on Lindsey we need to know which is a true statement?


The big question is when will people see through the fact that they got the wrong President for the right country, or to put it differently the right President for the wrong country. Perhaps this is what Trump wants us to believe, that his image of USA and how it should be run is the correct one and if 300 million odd people got it wrong well they will just have to fix their thinking. Meanwhile reports are filtering out that Mr. Trump is designing a President's uniform and its most likely going to be orange and some other bright colors. Of course how can the head of a banana republic have a uniform and no medals, after all he dodged military service, (unless there is a medal for that). He cannot ask Putin to give him a medal or a bunch of them; that would play into the collusion theory. He could ask his friend Kim in North Korea to toss over a few (after all his jacket is over loaded).

I do humbly ask the US Congress to pass special legislation honoring Donald J Trump with a whole host of special medals: Medal of Dishonor, Medal for Lying in the face of the fake news, Medal for Grabbing (we will not say where), Medal for Non Cooperation in International Affairs, The Order of the Great Wall, The Congressional Medal for Payoffs, Medal for Many Many Many good things, Medal for the most disorganized White House, Medal for Racial Inequality, Medal for Excellence in Golf during a crisis, The Order of Distinction in Starting a Word Trade War, and finally The Medal for the most Un-Invited President.

My American friends be thankful for the fact that you have been given, even by error, President Donald J Trump, a true President for a banana republic and now it is your duty to make your great nation into the banana republic that Mr Trump was destined to rule over. Long Live the President (King), and may his humble subjects know their place in his presence.