Trump: Proud of You.

President Donald J Trump, I am, as a foreigner not wanting to immigrate to your country, proud of you. You have brought attention to your role as President like no president before you. You were accused of a thin skin, how untrue. Today I spent half an hour looking through your Twitter posts and on the UN speech tweet you had 12,500 replies and comments. I believe if you read them all you will notice 99% were not complimentary of you, how can you have a thin skin. Anyone else subjected to that sort of abuse would have closed their Twitter account but not someone with thick skin like you. Its like rhino hide, much like of the one your sons killed in Africa.

Your performance at the UN General Assembly was so misunderstood. These so called world leaders do not appreciate Trumpian humor, how would they know that you were being satirical in saying no President has achieved as much as you have. How would they remember that you were making a jibe at your own tweet of 2009 that Mr. Obama was the laughing stock of the world. That's it! They did not laugh at you, they laughed at the subtle reference you made to that episode of 2009. Bravo you are not only intelligent but your humor is also so subtle that the Fake News media does not follow it.

While all this was going on Bill Cosby, the once famous comedian, was sentenced for sexually assaulting a woman, how silly of the media to refer to you and the 19 or so women who accuse you of sexual assaults. There is no parallel; you are a politician Cosby was a comedian, you are the leader of the world, after all even Cosby cannot make a 189 world leaders laugh at his jokes. Cosby should have hired your ex lawyer Cohen and paid them off, after all if you pay a woman you molest its then consensual sex. The only one who can object to it is your wife and she won't say a word.

We are also proud of the way you handle pressure of the media. Yes call it call fake then its for them to prove things, and even if they do remember its a President's word against that off a low life reporter. When things are on fire that seem to suggest you lit the fire, you go along and light another fire, or douse petrol on a 'trusted' person and let him burn to distract the people. Your recent comment to watch out for China interfering in the mid term elections is such a lovely side pass to deflect from your Russian friends. This is what makes you a great President, no one, and I mean no one, can pin anything on you because as President you define reality and therefore you define the truth.

As we enter into a trade war you have shown resolve that no other President could show. Never before has a President discarded good advice to pursue what you believe is right, considering soon you will have farmers suffering and businesses who survive on exports wondering what happened. But then understanding a concept of Making America Great Again is not something that people who went to fancy universities can understand.

It is good that you had your press guys to send you the names of all the world leaders who laughed at you at the UNGA session. You are right they are not our allies and if it means all 189 countries laughed at you then remember all of America is behind you when you severe diplomatic ties with of them. May we suggest you ask the UN to move their head quarters from US soil. Its time they understand you cannot laugh on the US President and still get to be in New York.

The Trump Daily Diary Uncovered.

4.AM Read tweets on Obama's (the failed Obama care President) speech.

4.01 AM My tweet showing my success in 15 months more than his in 8 years.

4.02 AM Block 231 Tweeters who are traitors to America and tweeted response to me.

4.10 AM Back to sleep.

6.15 AM Wake up and do 5 minutes Trumps Make Trump Gorgeous Again work out.

6.30 AM Breakfast and watch Fox News. I love those guys, so patriotic. (Note to self to tell Sean Hannity not to invite treasonous traitors to the show. Its very very very bad for this image.

6.55 AM Swtich channel to see CNN (what the Fake Media is saying). The negative Don Lemon is going on about Obama speech. Fake losers . (Note to self. Must get public speaking coach).

7.15 AM Call Pence. "Pence my man, why are you talking of a lie detector test? I never accused you? Is there something you are guilty off?"
Pence replies, "Mr. President I just want to counter the fake news planting stories that I might be deep throat."
 "Come on Pence you cannot be deep throat, well not like Stormy.' I laugh and close the phone.

7.45 AM I am ready to start my day, Oval Office calls to say Angela Merkle wants to talk to me.
"Tell the immigrant loving weak leader of Germany that I am busy today making America Great Again, we can speak tomorrow before my round of golf."

8.00 AM Rudi, the mayor, calls on my cell.
"Mr. President you have to tell Sessions to investigate the story in the New York Times."
"Rudi I am going to do better I will order him to close it down."
"Mr President we cannot do that, this is America, we have a constitution that protects the press.'
"See Rudi this is why we are weak and Russia is strong. If Putin does not like a newspaper he closes it and we live in the dark ages with a constitution over 200 years old."
"Mr. President its the law of the land."
"I am President I can change the law, tell Lindsey Graham to have his guys in Congress draft a new Constitution. My dear friend Kim sent me the North Korean Constitution, its pretty good."
"OK will collect and study it."

9-11 AM Loads of photo moments with all sorts of people I don't know, loads of shaking hands and smiling. Not sure why the plaid shirt guy has turned up here again. Must speak to security to only allow enthusiastic supporter to the White House.

11.15 AM Called my friend Putin on the secure line he set up for me.
"Hello my friend. Sorry to hear about the fake news on the protestors in Moscow. I am sure they never covered the huge crowd in Red Square cheering for you and me."
"Don't worry Donald we in Russia have the means to deal with fake news. You should learn from us."
"I am, I am, in fact I am reading the leaflet you gave me on Presidential Control in Russia. Its very very very informative."
"Da Da, well good talking to you Donald I need to now prepare for a photo shoot while wrestling a Ukrainian bear."
I put the phone down and tell Kelly Ann Conway, "Kellyann now that is a man I admire."

3. PM After lunch (Hot Dogs and Burgers, Made in America of course) I head out to the golf course. Watch more of Fox News, these guys are such loyal subjects.

7 PM Return to White House.

9PM to 2 AM After watching more of Fox and Friends, a few calls to my man Sean Hannity, I sort the world out with my Tweets, 23 three in 4 hours that is enough for the world to know I am the toughest President on Twitter and with 54 million followers on Twitter I should get a royalty from Twitter. (Note to self, must ask Lawyer to send request for sweat equity in company.)

Trump In a Banana Republic.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Something has gone terribly wrong. Donald J Trump got elected in the wrong country. Come on this is serious. He was supposed to head up some banana republic and his nomination papers got all messed up and he ended up winning the GOP ticket and even the election. Biggest proof of this being a mistake is that HE WAS NOT EVEN A REPUBLICAN. While the GOP stalwarts were busy trying to figure out what happened Mr Trump had taken the oath of office; to the largest crowd ever in a banana republic.

The whole mystery of why there has been such a large turnover of White House officials and his cabinet is easy to explain. Every staffer or cabinet member who has gone up to President Trump and reminded him that he is not the elected President of a banana republic but is in the US and he should stop watching documentaries of Idi Amin, the reaction is the person is fired next morning. Sadly Mr Trump does not read otherwise I would recommend he read The Autumn of the Patriarch because much like the dictators around whom this amazing novel is centered, Mr Trump does believe that his word is a command.

Much like dictators he does not tolerate dissent or even disagreement, and one can imagine to survive around him one needs to see a spine surgeon and have ones spine removed. Directing the state apparatus to punish anyone the dictator does not agree with was common and now one wonders if telling the Justice Department who to go after and also lambasting Jeff Sessions for indicting two GOP Congressmen just fits into the banana republic that Mr Trump wants.

Banana republics stand out by the fact that the press is either muzzled or totally absent. Mr Trump has taken the hammer on the press and anyone, and we mean anyone, who disagrees within him in the public media is 'fake news'. The message is not that he wants you to believe they are fake news, in his banana republic type of thinking he simply wants them to disappear. For him Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends are the only true press and rest are garbage and when a dictator says they are garbage then they must be closed down.

However, here is the problem, Mr Trump has the desires of banana republic leader and yet has also discovered that the was elected in the wrong country. After all in the country of his good friend Putin, now that is a man with substance, you disagree with him and you pay a price. Better still his even closer friend in North Korea, where you cannot even think to disagree, and when you have thoughts censored you will obviously never have a problem with free speech and the media.

Leaders of banana republics love their parades, the military ones, it gives them a chance to tell the fortunate masses that not only do they have a great leader at the helm but one who controls a vast arsenal of planes, tanks, and troops. It is no surprise that Mr Trump has been wanting his military parade and had the US  been a true banana republic then how dare the mayor of Washington stand in his way?

So what is Donald J Trump going to do? Well if you can't go to the mountain you have to find a way to bring the mountain to you. Well there is this little thing called the Constitution of USA, so that can be fixed by loading the Supreme Court with like minded guys, after all if it needs to be done that way why not. Then there is the problem of the Congress. This is seemingly a harder task but then if Mr Trump can scare them into believing his base is so large that it can even oust them then presto he can have them tow the line. Look at Lindsey Graham who in 2015 called Mr Trump a racist and three years later proudly says he never heard even a hint of racism from Donald J Trump. Come on Lindsey we need to know which is a true statement?


The big question is when will people see through the fact that they got the wrong President for the right country, or to put it differently the right President for the wrong country. Perhaps this is what Trump wants us to believe, that his image of USA and how it should be run is the correct one and if 300 million odd people got it wrong well they will just have to fix their thinking. Meanwhile reports are filtering out that Mr. Trump is designing a President's uniform and its most likely going to be orange and some other bright colors. Of course how can the head of a banana republic have a uniform and no medals, after all he dodged military service, (unless there is a medal for that). He cannot ask Putin to give him a medal or a bunch of them; that would play into the collusion theory. He could ask his friend Kim in North Korea to toss over a few (after all his jacket is over loaded).

I do humbly ask the US Congress to pass special legislation honoring Donald J Trump with a whole host of special medals: Medal of Dishonor, Medal for Lying in the face of the fake news, Medal for Grabbing (we will not say where), Medal for Non Cooperation in International Affairs, The Order of the Great Wall, The Congressional Medal for Payoffs, Medal for Many Many Many good things, Medal for the most disorganized White House, Medal for Racial Inequality, Medal for Excellence in Golf during a crisis, The Order of Distinction in Starting a Word Trade War, and finally The Medal for the most Un-Invited President.

My American friends be thankful for the fact that you have been given, even by error, President Donald J Trump, a true President for a banana republic and now it is your duty to make your great nation into the banana republic that Mr Trump was destined to rule over. Long Live the President (King), and may his humble subjects know their place in his presence.

Trump 'Truths'. A short history.

My mother always said do not lie because you need a phenomenal memory to remember what you lied about. The truth is never forgotten, but lies, by some quirk of mental process, fade out. Of course there is another twist; if you want to remember a lie then keep repeating it till your audience believes its the truth. Donald J Trump has entered a new realm of human psychology with not only forgetting his lies but spinning new ones. Sadly were it not real it would be an amazing reality TV show called the The Lying Apprentice President.

Well, lets go into this make believe world of Mr Trump and postulate his truths.

There is the allegation that he used the N word. The truth is that he does not know the N word because he cannot spell it, and what he cannot spell he does not speak out and explains why his total vocabulary is perhaps 500 to 700 words. He has never called a black man a 'nigger' but he has called the land of their ancestors 'shit hole' countries. Somehow in his amazing brain 'shit hole' sounds more palatable than the N word.

Then there is the truth behind these payments to two women with whom Mr Trump had a romp in bed and one even spanked him with the Forbes magazine; with Trump on the cover of course. After all if you have to be sleazy lets do it with class. But look at this matter a little differently rather than attacking his payments to these women. It should make you proud that the President of the United States of America i.e. Mr Trump, would never have sex with a woman and not pay her for it. His only mistake was that he did not pay them immediately after the sexual sojourn; perhaps he got a call from his wife to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home.

If you cannot applaud Mr Trump for his absolute propriety in paying those two women (and who knows many many more- in his words), there is this noise about the way the payment was made and its violation of election rules. Since he has never read any document or report which is more than one page typed out in quadruple line spacing, it is unlikely that the King of Tweet would have read the election code for people who seek public office in the US. The truth is that in Trumps eyes the judge who interpreted the law in the Cohen case has not read the code because if he has then it would Clinton and Obama in the court not his trusted lawyer.

The truth is that Trump should be believed about is there was no collusion with the Russians, after all he has said that for over 400 times by now, why cannot this stupid media read his lips, "NO COLLUSION".  The meetings between his campaign staff, including his own relatives, and Russian operatives first never happened, but then they did happen but no one told him. When it seemed that he may have known the truth was bent yet again to mention it was about adopting children, like adoption was some code word to cover any sinister purpose of the meeting. The final straw was when Trump said the truth is those meetings were useless as they had no dirt on Clinton; this suggests the meetings would have been productive if they had dirt, thus the intent was indeed collusion. But why should we believe collusion happened? After all my Facebook friends friend tells me that this is all a 'witch hunt' and for him if his President says it never happened that settles the matter.

No there is this slight problem of Michael Cohen, who Trump now says the truth is that he was one of 'many many' lawyers he had hired and 'to be frank he was not a very good lawyer'. Well the truth is that Mr Trump took pity on this 'not very good lawyer' and kept him on for ten years. After all what good lawyer would knowingly break the law, as he admitted to the judge, and knowing he is breakign the law hand over not a thousand dollars but thousands and thousands of dollars to women a couple of weeks before the election? Well the truth is these women out witted the best negotiator in the world, The Donald, by timing their reminder for the unpaid payment for the sex they offered Mr Trump at a moment he just could not refuse.

I can see how easy it is to dwell in the world of the Trump Truths because they come at you sometimes at the rate of 47 tweets a day. However there is one Trump Truth I disagree with. He claims he won the US election. Wrong, the election was won by President Putin of Russia, period no discussion on this. Proof, a winning President is above reprimand, above question and above criticism, and Donald J Trump has not once reprimanded, questioned or criticized Mr Putin, the true winner of the US election.